Loop
by AGENT Kuma-chan
Summary: For Miko-chan. SasuSaku. Sometimes, it is hard for Sakura to understand what happened. At the beginning, it was simple, but now Sasuke has changed and she thinks she might have too. Here's to dreams and fantasy and that illusion called hope.


**Fandom:** Naruto

**Pairing:** SasuSaku, with small hints of NaruSaku

**Prompts:** A scheme of infamy, dystopia

**For:** Miko-chan, sorry for the belated gift. The end wasn't quite working with me. And, the 'Miko' there later is on purpose.

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**Loop**

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**28.**

She thinks she might hate him. She just might. A chill creeps up her spine, causing her to shiver, and she curls up even tighter on the bed, the silk blankets giving her no warmth at all.

"Good morning," he says as he enters the room, his voice echoing off the walls until it sounds like he's everywhere and nowhere at once. He walks to her, slow steps but she can focus on them if nothing else and only when he stands in front of her does she open her eyes.

They stare at each other for a moment before he repeats himself. "Good morning." There is a slight stress on the words, as though he is trying to get a reply, and he looks at her expectantly. His hands smooth his blue cotton shirt, the one he wears when he sleeps, and his hair is mussed.

There is silence once more and she closes her eyes, not wanting to talk to him. There was a time when she didn't hate him, a time when there was nothing but love for the man standing in front of her.

Now, though, there is nothing but hate. She reminds herself of what he did to the world, what he still does everyday. She reminds herself of the blue eyes and blonde hair marred with red and hatred rises within her, an angry dragon.

There is a soft sigh and the bed sinks slightly as he perches on the edge. His hand reaches out to touch her shoulder but before he can reach, she moves just out of reach. Her back faces him now but she can tell his hand is still hovering over the empty space. Nothing is said but she can tell without looking that his eyes are frowning, showing what his impassive face can't.

"You know," he starts softly, "I only did what I thought was best."

She doesn't reply, doesn't want to talk to him because the moment she does, he will convince her once again that he is right. He is amazing with words, capable of making an innocent man think he is a murderer.

"I wish you could see that. The world is better now—"

"How?" She rises to the bait but can't help it. "There are so many people dying because of you, so many bleeding and why? Because you want to have this power over others? Because you have to rule them?"

"You got it wrong. The ones dying are those that kill others, the bad ones. The world has no war, no crime, everything is perfect. There is still sadness and death, but this is because of natural causes, not because of murderers."

"You're forcing them to do this!" She reminds herself of the blonde hair and blue eyes, reminds herself of the gentle smile and broken fingers reaching for her. She reminds herself this because if she doesn't she'll believe him once again and forget the innocent blood spilled. "You killed children, people who haven't done—"

He interrupts her, his voice still gentle. There used to be a time when he would yell at her for ignoring him, get angry over the fact that she doesn't understand. After months, though, he realized that wouldn't work and instead became gentle in his attempts. "So, you'd rather have kidnappers, terrorists, and other people like that running around?"

"No! That's not what I meant!"

"Then what did you mean?"

She falters, unable to think of something to say. When he puts it like that, it's almost as though she is the one wrong, not him. "I…"

He reaches out when she doesn't say anything else, pulling her up by the arm. Like a rag-doll, she lets him do it. As always, he is been the stronger one and no amount of struggling will cause him to release his vise-like grip. After a few moments where his hands pull her about, she sits perfectly still on his lap and tries hard to not lean back into him.

"Your hair is a mess," he comments as cool, slim fingers thread her hair. The other hand holds her lightly against him, the arm wrapped around her waist, and he sighs for a moment at her rigid posture. Leaning down, he nuzzles her neck and breathes in her scent. "Relax, hmm?"

She fights down her blush.

(_I hate him. I hate him. I hate him._)

"I would like it if you joined me at lunch today," he continues as his pale arms press her closer to him before releasing her. She scrambles off him, her pink hair flying behind her as she scoots over to the side of the bed. Carefully, he gets off the bed and gives her a gentle smile, making it harder for her to ignore the tingle in her fingertips.

He doesn't wait for a reply. He doesn't need to.

Without hearing anything, he knows her response.

She does too and hates herself for it. Slipping off the mattress, she heads to the bathroom and brushes her teeth. She'll be joining him for lunch, as she will for dinner, as she does everyday and probably will continue to do so. Maybe one day, she'll stop ignoring him and start smiling instead, like she used to before. Maybe, but she hopes that won't happen—ignores the fact that it is starting to happen—and instead focuses on the hate.

She hates and hates but doesn't stop herself from picking out a dress and wondering what he'll think when he sees it.

(She hates herself for still loving him.)

**27.**

She watches the images the camera shows her, the images of death and blood. She zooms in, memorizes what she sees. This is her punishment, something she creates for herself because this is something she can do. She's lucky the camera is state of the art technology, able to fly to various locations and show her anything she wishes to see. She only wishes she is just as free.

There are many places that have smiles and good food, where the red is just the colour of a dress and the carpets. Many houses still have sparkling windows, towering high above the earth, and enough food for the inhabitants. The only thing he has right is that there are more people who are happy and safe.

However, there are still places where it is hard to tell the difference between garbage and someone's clothes. Where the dark blemishes on a person's skin is dried blood and bruises from being a practice target for the police. She knows this is his fault and to a degree, her own. The homes in some areas are completely destroyed, having a fire that keeps going on for years without stopping.

The scenes are so vivid sometimes she can almost smell the charred flesh, taste the grimy skin. Bile rises to her throat and she holds it in, watching the screen still. As she sits on the hovering chair, the giant screen in front of her showing simultaneously different scenes from all over, she clenches her fists and ignores the light feeling in her stomach.

This is her cross to bear, her way of acknowledging the reality of the world. Her chains confine her to a gilded cage, one without a door.

She watches them, feels their pain with them because there is no one else who will.

**26.**

Sasuke watches her at night, the only time she doesn't have a partial guard masking her expressions. Sakura tries to have one in front of him—and he laughs at the reason for it, hatred. She doesn't know hatred, just knows that her morals are different than his and makes that her reason. There are times when she nearly succeeds at it, making him believe that she truly doesn't like him any more but then she'll shiver or give a minuet blush and he knows nothing's changed between them.

(Except everything has.)

The only time he can see her as she was is when she's sleeping. Sakura's face sometimes frowns in her sleep and there are times when she smiles and Sasuke sees all of it. Besides slowly helping her realize that she's being foolish—and that will take a while because she's stubborn—that's all he can really do, watch her.

Watch her change, as her eyes are no longer as innocent and she's learned to hide part of herself away. Watch her transform into a stranger he recognizes only faintly and while he does feel proud she's taken his lessons to heart, he feels disappointed too. He misses the old her. He misses the girl that would smile freely. He misses the girl and so he remembers the past and the present, wondering what will happen in the future.

(He's changed too. He no longer yells and pushes her away when he doesn't get what he wants. Too bad she doesn't seem to care as much about that any more.)

**25.**

She can't remember his name any more than she can remember her own. His name could be Kyo or Yuki or Toshiro, just as hers could be Momo or Ichigo or Tomoyo. Sometimes, when she tries to remember it, she can only recall voices talking to each other, a name rushing through her mind so fast she can't stop and read it.

_What's a name, anyways?_ She mentally comforts herself with this thought. Names are just used to identify someone and she already knows enough about the two of them to know who they are. Names are things that can be lost—as she has just proved—and things that can be easily changed. She doesn't need one, just like those who scream somewhere in the distant background don't need one. When there is no one left to remember who you are, no one left to use the name, there is no point in having one.

(The scream fades away and she shivers. Another person gone, a girl, and she names the scream Miko. Miko just died, for some reason, and soon she'll be free to join her family wherever they are.

She also notes that Miko and Sho and Ren had been the only screams she'd heard for the last few months. The killing is slowing down, maybe even stopping. She wishes she could say it is because of her, but her attempts have ended in failure. She can't do anything and this powerless feeling cripples her at night.)

There are times, though, when she wishes she has a name. Those are the moments when he crawls in bed beside her, holding her close enough to feel his breath on her neck. When he is leaving the room, or when she's yelling at him, or even when she traitorously dreams of him, she wishes that she had a name to use.

So, when she wants to be remembered and be a person again, she calls him Haru and names herself Kyoko and thinks this will have to do instead.

**24.**

The rose-coloured glasses are off and Sakura no longer smiles at Sasuke. She tries to eat her meals at different times, tries to sleep in a different room, but after he took her out of her self-enforced exile, he won't let that happen. She still sleeps in the same room as him, though he sleeps later and wakes up earlier than her usually. They eat on opposite sides of the table, the distance seeming larger than it was before, and when he holds parties, she still has to dance with him like nothing has changed.

In a sense, nothing has changed. Sakura's still _his_, for he's always been possessive, and she still does what Sasuke wants. Sometimes, when she's feeling particularly rebellious, she'll sneak away from him and go to the garden, the kitchen, someplace he won't find her until some time has passed. While she can go whenever she wants to, not telling him makes it seem like more than it actually is. The crew—the robotic chef, the wolf-eared guard, the reptilian gardener—don't say anything about her location. She doesn't look at them or thank them for this, fearing the pity she knows she'll see in their eyes.

Running away is not really an option. She tries to several times, tries escaping the twisting corridors and endless rooms. The first time, she makes it as far as the second floor of the building before she is caught from behind. He picks her up and, chuckling, takes her back to their living quarters.

The second time, Sasuke is not as forgiving and leaves a few bruises on her arms, underestimating the strength of his hands. After the seventh attempt, he lets her go to the top.

For a moment, she thinks he is giving up, letting her leave. She considers going and saving the poor people screaming but the idea of being free is too tempting and she just keeps running.

When she reaches the top, when she looks around the place she used to know so well, she realizes why he let her go. It wasn't because he was tired but because he wants her to learn a lesson.

There is no escape. Sakura thought that there might be a way off and back to the ground, maybe an emergency balloon or a ladder to the ground, but there is nothing but four solid walls of air and emptiness. The only way off is through death and he won't let her die that easily. The fairies, the giant gryphons, their pitying looks are all she needs to see to know they won't help her at all.

When she returns to his knowing smile, she ignores him, instead brushes past him and heads to the garden. There is nothing she can do about leaving him.

(A part of her is glad, because she doesn't want to leave him. She squashes that part.)

She can't even communicate with the outside world or saving the prisoners—he has the keys and he's kept them safe. That is certain.

What also is certain is that she will try to find a way.

**23.**

Sakura doesn't talk to him for months, holing up in her room. The door is blockaded with her desk and he pounds on it every now and then, wanting to be let in. If she stays quiet long enough, Sasuke stops and leaves.

There is a hole in her and she wishes she could find it and block it before she spills out of it. Her lungs are tight and her stomach is heavy—why do people say feelings come from the heart when it's everything else that hurts?

Parts of her leak out the hole until all she can see are the lies he painted her world with. They are supposed to be doing good, not killing innocent people. They are supposed to be making the world better, not filled with terror. There are people out there, people who are murdered and tortured because he wills it. People who are living on the streets and hiding, fearful of his wrath. It is not supposed to be like this. It's supposed to be filled with happy people, living in warm houses and laughing with mirth.

She wonders when the truth transformed into a lie, beauty turned into the beast. If she really thinks about it, it started a while ago but she ignored all the signs. Instead, Sakura wanted to believe that the truth was still truth and kept believing the illusions he spun.

Reality is known now and she wonders if she was better off without it. At least then she could smile and trick herself into believing that nothing changed.

Now she can't do that. Now she has to face the ugly truth and accept it as it is.

Sasuke doesn't try to force her out of the room, giving her time to think and understand what's happening. It's only when she stops eating that he has the door opened and takes her out.

(His hands are still warm and firm and she wonders how they can be the same hands that choked a young mother, that ordered the killing of thousands.)

**22.**

"You're killing people!" Sakura throws a folder on his table, the papers spilling out and she glares at him. "Little boys, teenage girls, old men, you're killing people!"

"Only murderers." Sasuke tries to pacify her, reaching out to touch her but she dodges.

She will not be calmed, like a young child. "This kid was not a murderer. He did not deserve to be continuously burned and stabbed—you tortured a little kid! You killed Naruto because of this too, didn't you?"

He doesn't deny Naruto's death and she knows that he is not the man she once knew. "This is…" he pauses, choosing his words carefully, "This is a battle. I have to show the people that I am the ruler here. I have to show that they have to listen to me. If I don't, they will go back to the way the world was before, when they had to hide in fear when there was a knock on the door."

"Naruto was not a killer! He was the most honest man I knew!" she shrieks, "And the kid? You killed a small child just because you wanted to show your power? There was no need! Aren't they going to fear you now?"

"The world isn't as peaceful as you think," he sighs, "there was a need. Thanks to that boy, there will no longer be a need. They won't fear me because they will realize in time this is for their own good."

"He was just a little boy!" Suddenly, her voice turns deceptively silent and she plunges a sword into his heart. "You would never be a good father."

Sakura knows this hurts him the most, these words that attack him in the worst possible way. He always wanted to be a father, always wanted to be what his own father couldn't be, and this will cripple him in ways she can't imagine. She can't bring herself to care either.

There were signs, so many, and she never stopped this before it happened. There were so many points where she could have changed the future and now it is too late.

Before Sasuke can lash out, she leaves the room.

**21.**

Sakura falls. Far and fast, unable to catch something (anything), she falls off the edge. It's hard to explain the beating of her heart (faster, faster, faster) or the joy she gets with falling.

There is one reason, though, why it is not as fun as she expected it to be. When she falls, he will not be catching her. The ground will be hard and rough and she will break into a thousand pieces.

She's falling because of him and she knows there is no way up from here.

**20.**

The sky is blue, the sun is bright, and her dress is white. These are facts and Sakura clings to them as she drinks her tea, delicately sipping the hot drink. The tea is hot, the cookie is crumbly, and the grass is soft. She repeats them in her head, a mantra, and smiles as she nibbles a biscuit.

The world seems to be at peace today, with the birds soaring slowly with the breeze and the dull heat making her drowsy. Sometimes, when she has her tea parties, she'll sit on the edge and swing her legs over the empty sky. It's thrilling, being miles and miles above the earth with nothing keeping you up but a small chunk of land. Sasuke sometimes catches her like that and pulls her up, concern laced in his voice as he warns her that it's dangerous to be so close to the edge.

(She can't explain the excitement she feels being on the edge, the thrill of knowing any moment she could fall. It's like being with him and she can't explain that either.)

She likes these moments and they bring her relief if nothing else. He's still the same, the world is the same, and nothing could possibly be wrong.

It's just a tea party in the castle in the sky.

**19.**

As he watches the scientists in front of him present yet another way of controlling the weather, one that can actually decide where the rain will fall and where it won't, Sasuke plans. This could be used as a weapon, something to stop the rain in the rebellious areas.

(Sakura smoothens her hair, a child-like grin on her face. "Everyone deserves to live. People are supposed to have their own opinions and choose what they want to believe in. That's what a government is there for—to make sure no one is ignored.")

If there is not rain in those areas, just heat and light, then there will be food shortages. This will halt weapon construction and maybe even convince them to join his world. If nothing else, it would at least punish them. They'd have to face the consequences of going against him. If he's lucky, some of them will die.

("Why are so many people moving to Europe?" she asks, confused. Her blinders are loosening, his grip breaking, and he hopes it will last just a little longer. There is an unknown fear in him when she questions him and something tells him that she will find out the truth soon.

She will find out what he did.)

"Sir, would you like us to continue with the construction?" A scientist comes up with a paper, his owlish eyes staring at him. Another one's tail waves back and forth nervously. The last scientist, a mage with his fingertips glowing, creates a shower of sparks as he tries to adjust the machine some more.

Sasuke's hand grabs a pen, holding it above the paper. For a moment, he has the choice to change his path. If he does, there could still be redemption.

He remembers his family's blood on his hands, the friends lost from before. There was her smile, hoping for a peaceful future. His canines were long and sharp as they pierced the soldier's hand, his nails raking their flesh as others came to capture him. Her touch was soft, her grip was firm, and she stood strong on her position—there would be a positive change. There were whips striking him, his claws ripped apart and his teeth ground up.

The pen comes down.

**18.**

A shiver crawls up her spine and Sakura tries to block the noise from her ears when she hears the scream. It's loud and painful and why is there a scream in the first place?

She curls up in a corner of the room, trying to hide from the noise. Curls her knees to her chin, squeezing her eyes shut as she sings softly to herself. Screams remind her of something that happened long ago, something she's buried deep in her memory and doesn't want to think of it again. When the sound subsides, she creeps out of her room and hesitantly searches for the origin.

The plush carpet is soft and mutes her steps as she walks down the halls barefooted. "Where are you?" Sakura half-whispers, half-yells, stuck between the two as she battles the desire to find and to hide. The scream starts again, as an answer, and instead of curling up she takes a step forward. And then another. She inches forward and tries hard to not imagine why the sound is there in the first place.

"What are you doing?"

She spins around when she tries to open a door, hoping to find the answers in there. "I…" The sound starts again and when he doesn't react, she wonders for a moment if she's the only one who can hear them. "Someone's hurt."

There is something in his eyes, something that makes them avoid looking at her and instead stare at the floor, and this makes her suspicious. His hand latches around her wrists and with a gentle tug, he pulls her behind him.

"No!" She yanks her hand back, managing to free herself as she opens the door. "I need to help them."

"No," Sasuke replies, his mouth a firm line and his eyes harsh. "Follow me."

"Why?"

"Do it!" His hand grabs hers once more, a bruising grip this time, and she's almost hysterical as she tries to pull her hand away and open the door.

"I-I….I need to help her! She needs me! She's going to get hurt and die and please don't let this happen," she babbles. The lines between the present and the past are blurred and she's no longer talking about the screamer. "Please!"

His hand loosens slightly, his eyes soften, and he pulls her sobbing figure to him. Her head is pushed into his chest and he murmurs into her ear, "No one's going to hurt you."

She doesn't ask another question about the room or the scream.

**17. **

"I wonder how my friends are doing," Sakura muses aloud as the maid cleans her room. Her tail is chestnut colour, a fox if she recalls, and for a moment she wonders what it would be like to be one of those human/animal hybrids.

Then she remembers how the hybrids were treated and is glad that she had the opportunities to learn, grow, _live_.

The maid says nothing in reply, silent as usual. There are times when she wishes she had someone else to talk to, someone to share her secrets with. Sasuke told her that her friends were busy with the cause, still trying to keep the peace, and she's proud of them for that.

It isn't loneliness, just a wish that they would visit her occasionally. They could see the beautiful view from her balcony, the soft satin clouds as the sun sets, the blood-red sky when the morning comes. Ino would be so jealous. She'd visit them herself but she is always too busy or it's too late and when she's about to call them, he would tell her that they are busy doing assignments in various parts of the world. She supposes that is what comes with running the world but would it be too much to ask for just one small meeting?

"Would you like to watch a movie?" Sasuke appears at her door, interrupting her thinking and she gives him a soft smile before getting up.

She isn't lonely at all.

**16.**

Sasuke wonders about these lies sometimes. There are so many lies that he can hardly tell when he is telling the truth or not. He can't remember if he's lying to her or himself.

She breaks easily, that much he knows. If he shows her the real condition of the world, she would fall apart. Most of what he shows is real, there are places cheering and happy for the end of the old regime. There is just a small part of the world—less than a third—that is still unable to adapt to the changes.

(_They are just being stubborn, clinging to the old ways. They are not thinking like they should._

He can't tell if he's lying to himself. He doesn't want to know.)

The thing that would hurt Sakura most would be if she found out what happened to most of her friends. They were the first to die, some during the campaign and the remainder by his hands. It wasn't a desire to rule by himself that caused it. It was the simple fact that they were not agreeing to his policies and were going to stop him.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" She turns on the light as she enters the room and he carefully arranges his features before he faces her.

"Nothing," he replies, smiling softly.

He'll let keep her dreams alive, let her live in this isolated world made of dreams and fairy dust.

(His own are just as false.)

**15.**

"What is that?" Sakura turns to face him as he walks into the room, curiosity in her eyes. "Why is there fire?" Glancing back at the screen, she covers her mouth with her hand. "Are those…dead bodies?"

Sasuke takes a moment to stare at the screen before changing the channel. "They are all that's left of the battle. We haven't finished clearing up the mess."

"They…they look fresh. Not two months old." She can't erase the images in her mind and stares ahead, ignoring the cartoons that ran across the screen.

Sighing, he sits beside her and wraps an arm her as she waits for his answer. "There is still…a little fighting." Sasuke says this hesitantly, almost fearfully, and his free hand clenches.

She thinks this is because he is afraid she'll doubt him, afraid that she'll be disappointed in him.

"Well, that's expected," she reassures at him and puts a hand on his clenched one. "Really, if this is the only place, then that is a lot better than the old world, no?"

He looks down at her and she sees the little boy he used to be. There is relief and fatigue in his eyes. "You've been working too hard." Her fingers brush across his cheek, his eyes, his lips. She feels the dark bags under his eyes, the pillows of soft silk, and continues, "Take a small break."

Nodding, he leans into her touch. "A short one, perhaps."

Sakura still has her doubts but she pushes them away. He needs her right now.

That's all that matters, really.

**14.**

"See? This is the world as it is." Sasuke points to a screen and she sees people standing in the street cheering. Little kids are playing tag and running around, happy to be in the sunlight.

"I never thought we'd get rid of them. I never thought everyone would be so…happy." Her hand grasps his and she squeezes.

"We worked hard for this," he responds. He presses a few buttons on the screen and Sakura watches the scene change to another part of the world, another group of happy people. "We all worked hard and even though there were…sacrifices, we still succeeded."

Eyes downcast, she remembers her friend, her _brother_, and bites her lip. She won't cry, not now, not when everyone is so happy. Later, when she is alone, she can cry and break down.

(She knows she won't be fully alone when he glances at her. He knows her thoughts and he'll be there to hold her when the night is too long.)

"Now, we are going to bring this world back to the place it was, to the place it still should be. It will be a place without wars. There has to be sadness, people need that emotion, but there won't be poverty, starvation, _oppression_."

He nods to her words.

"We'll do a better job," she continues but for a moment, there is doubt. What if they make the same mistakes as the previous government, where the ones in charge decided to take over everything? What if they make the world worse?

He senses the doubt in her eyes and replies reassuringly. "We will. The past won't be repeated."

She smiles at him, relieved. He won't break his promise.

There will be a better world and he will bring it.

**13.**

"I have done it," Sasuke tells her. Sakira doesn't ask what he has done, the light in his eyes alert her to the reason, and she just hugs him.

"Really?"

"Yes." He sounds smug, proud of himself, and she squeezes him tighter.

"That's just…amazing. Amazing and I didn't think it would happen so soon and—" She has a thousand things she wants to tell him, a million ways she wants to congratulate him, and settles with taking a deep breath. "I'm happy for you, Mr. President."

There is no reply, his arms encircling her and they are silent, basking in the glow of victory.

He breaks the silence first. "There's going to be a party tonight. Here."

"Will my friends be able to come?" Sakura looks at him, hope in her eyes, so much that he pauses. For a moment, Sasuke wonders if he is taking the right path, for if she finds out what he has done to them, she will break. For a minute he considers the risks of what will happen after he takes this course.

For a second, doubt clouds his mind and he doesn't know what to say. Then time continues forward, the steady ticking of a clock, and he shakes his head. "They can't make it."

"Oh well," she replies softly, disappointed.

"Maybe next time."

She gives him a peck on the cheek, happy that there will be a next time, and rushes off to get ready.

**12.**

The war is coming to an end and Sakura waits impatiently to find out what will happen next. There is a soft ticking of a clock nearby. Tick, tock, tick, tock, the noise goes on and on in her mind until she is half-mad by it.

When will she know if he's safe?

When will she know that they have saved the world?

She lies uncomfortably on the bed as it changes shape and texture. "Why do I have to wait here?" she growls to herself, frustrated. Over the last seven years, she had been fighting in the front lines, trying her hardest to help the cause. Then, for the year or so, Sasuke had left her in their home.

"I suppose it's just that he worries about me. Still, doesn't he know I'm worried about him? My friends? It's been two weeks since he left and I still don't know anything!"

There is an urge to break something but she holds it in. Instead, she gets up and starts to right a list of things she has to do if he wins.

(She won't allow herself to think of the other possibility.)

"I guess I'll have to mellow out just a little more. I mean, I can still be me…but I'll control my temper more. After all, if I'm going to be in the government, I can't get angry over every little thing that goes wrong. Or at least, I can't show it." That's the first point on her list and starting there, she thinks of more until she fills up two pages with her flaws.

"I guess I have a lot to work on." Sakura has plenty of time to practice—more than she realizes, as he will return in three more months, bloody and tired but with a big grin on his face. She'll find out the results the day after, when he's rested and cleaned up enough to tell her. Then he'll also realize the small changes in her attitude that will last until she breaks free of his cocoon.

She doesn't expect the battle to last longer than a few weeks. "I guess I'll start with the lady-like manners and the anger management. I think he'll like that, he always did want me to learn some of those manners."

It's silly but it keeps her mind occupied.

**11.**

"The final battle will be tomorrow," Sasuke informs her, his hands buttoning his tunic.

She pauses in her writing before setting the pen down. "Really? Then I'll go get my armor ready." Getting up, she heads to the dresser to find her battle suit.

He gives her a look she can't interpret before moving to her side. Placing his hand on hers, he pushes it back down. "You won't be joining me this time."

"What?" There is a silence after that while she struggles to understand what he just said. "You mean, after all I've done, I won't help?"

"…." He is silent for a moment before replying, "Yes, you'll be helping."

"How will I do that up here?"

"I—we don't want you to get hurt." Her safety is first, no matter what.

"But…I helped fight for this too. I didn't get hurt before and I need to be with them. I don't deserve special treatment." Sakura's voice rises as she continues, clearly revealing the anger and hurt she feels. There is hurt, of course, because she is still thought of as the weak one, the one who can't do anything.

"It's not special treatment; we know you are strong enough to fight. I…I don't think I could fight if you are there. I'd be worried about you." He tries to sound tender as he says this, hoping it will work as it did the first few times.

"I'd be holding you back? You won't have to protect me!"

"I never said that!" He is yelling now, knowing that this won't help but doing it anyways. "Why do you always have to make something out of nothing? I never called you weak!"

"So? You are implying it! That's just as bad, maybe even worse. If you said it outright, at least I would know what you think. Implying it just means you don't think I could handle the knowledge that I'm weak."

"You are strong, one of the strongest fighters on our side! I just can't have you die!" He moves his hands violently, angry that this is taking as long as it is.

"Why? If I'm so strong, I'd be more useful on the field!"

"If I…if we die out there, we need someone who will keep fighting. You're best for this." He shakes her shoulders, hoping that maybe she'll see the truth and realize it's for the best.

"What? Don't you know that being left behind is the worst part?" There are tears in her eyes, tiny liquid drops that remind her of her weakness. Blinking, she stops them from making a slippery trail down her cheeks and glares at him. "I don't want to be here, waiting, being useless when I could be down there and helping someone!"

There is nothing more to be said and she turns her face away from his, clenching her jaw angrily. He is filled with an angry fire as well and it burns her arms as he squeezes them tighter.

Later, at night, she goes to bed in a stony silence. In the morning, she'll follow him whether or not he wants her to.

When she finds out he left before she woke up, left that very night, she will break a few vases before trying to follow him. She won't be able to because he knows the only way off their home and she can't get off herself.

Until then, though, she sleeps a dreamless sleep and waits for a chance to prove her strength.

**10. **

It's hard to get used to her new domestic life. She can't figure out where the rooms are in the building. Sometimes she wanders into the bathroom when she's trying to find the dining hall, sometimes she'll go into the garden when she is trying to go to sleep. The castle is huge, with doors that go on forever in corridors that twist and turn into a maze she can't solve.

Sasuke laughs the first time he sees her attempts at navigation. It's a deep, rumbling laugh and she prides herself for bringing it back. It had been years since she has last hard it. Who knows how much longer it will be till he hears it again? Then, hiding the smile in her eyes, Sakura glares and yells at him for not being helpful.

"You looked like you were having fun," he tells her when she walks into the kitchen.

"This building is endless. Give me a map already!" She snorts, turning her head away haughtily when he offers to show her the way.

"And miss this?"

It's a small reprieve from the endless correspondence and planning. A small chuckle here, a sullen pout there, and then she follows him to the library to figure out their next move.

Since she doesn't do much otherwise these days, she takes it upon herself to help figure out strategies to get their comrades out of danger. "I think we should move the second troop to the fort here." She taps a spot on the map and he glances at it before nodding.

"…" Sasuke starts writing the orders on a sheet before sending it into the transporting tube. Whistling, a small fiery bird appears—a phoenix, if she remembers, and she wonders when they gave up their pride to be messengers—and takes the tube, hurtling out the window.

"Think the war will be over soon?"

"Maybe. We're destroying their supplies." Nothing is said about the losses on their side and she doesn't want to bring it up, show their mortality for what it is. "They are stubborn, though."

"…when will I be able to go back down? It's been several months and I think I've recovered enough."

"Our other strategist is in a safe location too but his location might be compromised. Wait until we're sure he's secure."

"…fine but not a moment longer."

Sasuke changes the subject. "What do you think we should do with the third and fourth troops?"

"They could stay where they are." Sakura notices the change, sees it for what it is, but ignores it. If she has to, she has other methods to show her point.

"The enemy is starting to surround them."

"Really? Hmm…" She starts to plot out exit routes.

They stay like that for a few hours, discussing the next move, before he glances at the clock. "Should we eat now?"

Her stomach rumbles and she gives him a sheepish look. "Yeah, I'm a little hungry."

Opening the door, he smirks as she exits. "Shall you lead?"

"So you can laugh at me? No!"

This care-free arguing makes her think the war could be over any moment. She doesn't try to prove this feeling wrong.

**9. **

"We're living _there_?" Sakura gapes at the building as they fly past it. It's a magnificent castle, steel towers reaching for the stars, the colour of the sky around it, a tribute to architecture at its finest. "Where did you get the time to build this? The supplies?"

"While we were fighting, a group of builders started to create this. This is our new base."

"Oh, I see. We'll plan attacks here, right? And run the new government from her too, probably. It's a bit…to much, don't you think?"

"No." He's blunt and she sighs. Of course Sasuke wouldn't realize how extravagant it is. There is a garden in the center of the castle, with nymphs and wood spirits lurking in the dark shadows cast by the ancient trees planted there. She's surprised the creatures agreed to move, considering how territorial they are.

The thing that surprises her the most, though, besides the winged beasts flying in and out of the huge openings is the fairies. They are living in small crevices on the building corners, glowing merrily as some dart around happily.

"Is this how?"

"Hn."

She suddenly understands how his—their—castle is floating in the sky now. It's miles above the ground, soaring with the clouds, and it is because the fairy magic is keeping it above the ground.

Fairies help as long as an equal price is paid to them and she wonders what he paid to have all these magical creatures help him. She finds herself not really wanting to know and just assumes that it is because they have freedom and peace up here. They don't have to hide and be destroyed up here.

As Pegasus, the flying steed that helped them reach the plateau in the heavens, lands, Sakura feels the grass beneath her feet.

"The lawn feels like real grass."

"It's supposed to."

"Oh…anyways, how are we going to fight? It'll be hard to reach the battles from up here."

"I'll be going down." Before she can protest, he continues. "You're not fit yet."

For a moment, she considers arguing with him about this. She can fight just as well as him. Or at least good enough.

Then she sees the worried look in his eyes and remembers that he has already lost everyone. "Ok, for just the next few fights."

She can always go back down later.

**8.**

It is about a year till Sasuke sees her again. A mission kept him away for long and he doesn't know how she's managing.

He is a little shocked to see her act almost like a machine. She wakes up, dresses, trains, fights, eats, sleeps. Then she repeats. Even when Sakura is in battle, she systematically kills each opposing soldier, not noticing any wounds she gets until she is dragged off to the first aid center. All that happens then is that a few wounds are wrapped and she rushes back in.

He knew that Naruto's death would affect her but not this much. She's barely the girl he used to know, losing herself to her grief and anger.

When she sees him, he gets a glimmer of hope because she brightens up a little and talks to him. She doesn't follow a schedule and seems a less restrained. At least she's no longer losing herself to her hate, like he did. He won't let her do that; she's the only human part of him left.

He'll have to get her out of this war immediately and Sasuke knows just what to do.

**7.**

There are many fights, so many Sakura loses track of them. There is death and her hands remain stained red no matter how many times she washes them but then she reminds herself of Naruto and pushes onward. His death will not be in vain, their cause will succeed, and this is what she reminds herself as she keeps fighting day and night.

This is the only way she can stay sane as she plunges her sword into the back of another soldier

**6.**

Naruto is—was a close friend to both of them.

He wipes the knife clean as the fairies take the body away. When the others see his body, it seemed like he died in battle. In fact, he will die in front of them, without being able to say a word of what actually happened. "His blood will do—I know what runs through his veins. You will keep your side of the deal and help me with my plan."

There is no sign of an agreement from their side but Sasuke knows that they will agree.

Naruto had been like a brother to her, making her strong when she was weak. He had been the fire in their cause, keeping them on track, and this loss will hurt. It will hurt Sakura the most because they had always been the closest among all her friends. She will cry for days, the spider-thin web keeping her happy cracking, but she will recover. She has to.

(It will take her two years to fully recover and when she does, he decides to take her to his secret palace in the sky. It's the only place he knows she'll be safe.)

There will be nightmares and guilt; that is to be expected. His sleep will suffer but he knows this is for the best.

He has to believe that because if he doesn't, he doesn't know what else there is to believe.

**5.**

When Sasuke first finds out about her fear, it is in the middle of the night. They are camping in an old house, doing a reconnaissance mission. While she is a hundred times more useful making tactics, they are low on people and have too many strategists as it is. However, he has a feeling that would change soon. When it does, he'll have the perfect way to keep her out of harm.

He is sleeping when the wind makes a high-pitched sound, almost like a scream. Sakura barely pays any attention to it until it repeats again and again. Stirring, he finds her cradling her head and whispering to herself, her eyes wide.

"..." He watches her for a moment, questioning her movements. Immediately, he goes next to her.

Even without looking, Sakura knows what he wants to ask. "She's…she's crying again. She's in pain and she needs my help." Her head snaps up and she looks around desperately. "I need to make it stop. I need to help her so she isn't hurt. I need…"

Sasuke stares down at her, remembering something he read about her in a file. Her father went mad one day, killing her mother. She witnessed the whole thing and at seven saw one of the slowest and most painful ways of killing someone.

While his father was a bastard, always yelling at him or forcing him to do far more than he could do, at least his father wasn't as bad.

Carefully, hesitantly, he sits down beside her and draws her head to his chest. She stiffens for a moment before he makes a low noise, hoping to calm her.

Even though he will never admit it to her or to others, he thinks he cares for her. Enough that he knows she will be his future bride and the head of his new family. Enough that he will try to find a safer position for her when they get back.

Enough that Sasuke will stay with her like this all night, just so Sakura won't be alone.

**4.**

"You can do it!" Naruto cheers, bouncing around her as she tries to punch him. Gritting her teeth, she tries again to attack him. As she pounces to his spot, he leaps in the air and sails over her back. "That was close."

"Close?" Sakura growls. "I'll show you close." She runs faster, jumping in the air and slamming her fist into his face. He dodges but she manages to hit his chest instead.

"Oww…" he groans, holding his chest while she stands in front of him proudly. "You have a mean punch." Then after a few minutes of dramatizing how hurt he is, he grins up at her. "I'm not going to get hit so easily next time."

"Really?" She smirks, confident now. "We'll see."

Sadly, he is right and it takes three more training sessions before she hits him twice.

**3.**

One day, when they are relaxing in between battles, Sasuke tells her the deepest secret in his soul. A secret that he has never told anyone else, with a few small exceptions but they aren't alive anymore anyways.

Sakura, for her part, looks surprised and sad when he tells her.

"T-that h…happ…ened? R-really?" She stumbles over her words, her tongue numb, and he bites back the sharp retort that he feels rising in him.

(He could still see the burningburning_burning _house, hear the screams and pleas, smell the fat in the air, the fat that stuck to his skin for days. They yell for help, yell in loud voices that he still hears when he closes his eyes, and he doesn't think that fire ever stopped burning.

What they did to his parents, just because of their abilities, made that fire transfer into him. And that fire will never be put out until he stops them.)

"…it did," he says shortly instead. He doesn't trust himself to say anymore because he knows that she is special—that's the only reason he told her. She will be able to help him and he can't scare her away too early. While he can use force, he doesn't want to use that unless it's necessary.

Instead he will use 'trust' and 'friendship', those bonds that she holds dear, and takes this as his first step.

"It's practice time!" Naruto yells, interrupting the moment. She looks like she's about to say something but stops herself.

"Go," Sasuke tells her, "You need it." She slowly gets up, hesitantly takes a step away, and then finally departs.

Naruto keeps yelling cheerfully and Sasuke can almost taste the bitter tang of regret and blood in his mouth when he realizes what he will do to their friend.

**2.**

When Sakura first joins the army, she doesn't expect to rise up in the ranks so fast. Naruto jokes to her about this, tells her that they like her for her looks, but she knows he realizes it is because of her smarts. At least, that's what she hopes when she punches him in response.

The fight, she realizes, is more than just a fight against an old, decaying government. It is against a way of life. She is fighting for the mutants, for the hybrids, for the magical creatures that live in this realm. This fight is for all of them. The government ruins the lives of the non-humans, condemning them to terrible living conditions. Their land is taken away from them, their treatment is worse than a slave's, and she fights for them.

After all, Naruto is one of them, a mutt to be exact. No one knows exactly what is in his genes but he is more powerful than most of the other creatures on their troop. Very few can match him when he's in top form. Only Sasuke can and even then it depends.

She, on the other hand, is the weakest one of them but Naruto helps train her so that when she can fight, she will be able to hold her own. As Sakura fights in battles, her skills will increase as well and while she still won't the strongest, she will be strong enough that she doesn't have to be guarded any more.

Naruto's also around whenever she needs a friend or someone to talk to. He's the one that appears at her room when she's down with two bowls of ramen and he's the one who makes her laugh when the mood is too serious. If she doesn't already love another, she thinks she would have loved Naruto. As it is, she can't imagine living without him.

When Sakura learns of the creation of a new government and her place in it, she's ecstatic. She can help even more, now, in ways she never thought possible. Immediately she agrees and starts to increase her intelligence.

She believes and hopes and thinks they might win this war. They just might.

**1.**

Sakura thinks she loves him. Sasuke is kind and gentle, strong and fierce. Sometimes he yells angrily and hurts those around him, but that is just who he is and that is something she understands. After all, she fights just as fiercely as he does sometimes.

It might have started when they first met, years ago as little children in the playground. Maybe it began a few years after they both ended up in the same troop, fighting side by side for a cause they believe strongly in. She isn't sure when it happened or how it grew, but she knows that this is love.

"Do you trust me?" he asks, holding out his hand.

She hesitates for a moment, not sure why something in her is screaming for her to not do this. There is a voice that warns her if she chooses this path, she will regret it. That's not possible, though, because anything she does with him is something she wants. As long as she wants it, there is nothing to regret.

Going against that gut feeling, she grabs his hand and follows him. "Of course."

…

…

…

…

**A/N**: For those who don't get it, the story going backwards. Anyways, sorry for the three months late present. Happy belated birthday, Miko-chan! ^-^

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